Well then, it got to be Sean Tierney’s week!
No sooner does George Galloway joins forces with the Grand Orange Order and we re-discover Sean’s ‘The Moustache my Father Wore’.
We now learn that Rolf Harris has been found guilty and we can reflect on another Sean Tierney classic parody …. “Two Little Boys in Blue”
Sean, who had a law degree, discovered that “Two Little Boys” was Maggie Thatcher’s favourite pop song so he came up with this parody lyric based on his court experience of the Glasgow ‘Polis’ when they gave evidence.
I think you’ll find it uncomfortably true, (by the way. Kelvin Halls – Glasgow slang for balls)
There were two little boys
And two little toys
A whistle and a helmet blue
When they were wee
It was plain to see
What they’d grow up to do
Hittin’ other weans and punchin’ oot their brains
And shoppin’ everbody too
They could never reform, ‘cos they’re in uniform
There’re two little boys in blue
“Do you think I would leave you lying?
When I can lie my head off too.
If some **** squawks in the witness box,
I’ll cover up for you.
I’ll tell a pack of lies, pull the wool over their eyes,
The way the sergeant taught us to…
Before you count to three, we’ll both be off Scot free,
‘Cos we’re two little boys in blue.”
And when the duty sergeant said
“Lock the prisoners up in bed
But before you take their cocoa through,
Hit in the cells and hit them where it tells
But don’t leave them black and blue
Hit them the ‘Kelvin Halls’
Bang their heids against the walls
Stove them in the kidneys too
Beat them round their legs and thighs
But don’t give them black eyes..
Or you’ll all be prisoners too!”
If you see them on the street
Pounding out their beat
Here is some advice for you
Don’t trust to luck
Turn around and run like ****!
…From those two little boys in blue